WEEK 1: MARRIAGES THAT PROCLAIM THE GOSPEL

Marriage is the ultimate intimate and committed relationship. But so many marriages struggle and too many end in heartbreak. So how do we fix them before they break? The key to getting marriage right is to hold onto its purpose and live that out. We are coming right out of the gate with this first message, taking a clear look at what the Bible says about the purpose of marriage. And embracing that purpose will help both single and married people start getting their relationships right!

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STAFF Q&A
Question: What do you consider the key ingredient to maintaining a healthy marriage?
  • Bill - "One of the biggest things God has taught me is to delight in one another. We started dating and kept dating because we loved talking to each other and being together. We have to make sure we keep doing that. Lots of marriages have failed just as much because they quit enjoying one another as much as anything else. So I would say delight in one another and enjoy being together (lots of verses in Song of Solomon about that)!"
  • Missy - "Lots of laughter and working hard to be the first to say I’m sorry."
  • Travis - "Communication (and it’s not even close)."
  • Jack - "A key ingredient to a healthy marriage for us is spending tons of quality time together. Prioritize time with each other!"
  • Becca - "Making your spouse a priority in your life."
  • Kayla - "Communicating with each other, even when it's hard to do so. Also making sure to have fun together, especially in the mundane day to day!" 
Question: How do you and your spouse invite Jesus into your marriage?​
  • Bill - "This has been more of a struggle than most would think. Sherry and I each have a relationship with Jesus that is deeply intimate and personal, so we have learned how to be vulnerable and talk about that with one another more freely and regularly. We try to daily talk about what God did, how he revealed himself to us, how he may have used us, how he helped us, and also how he convicted us. We let busy days often get in the way of this, but on the days we do this, it is such a spiritual bond for us."
  • Missy - "Pray with each other, pray for each other, making our small group and church attendance a priority and encourage (sometimes even challenge) each other to go deeper in our personal relationships with Jesus."
  • Travis - "Daily Bible Study…Praying together nightly."
  • Jack - "We invite Jesus into our relationship by serving, attending small group, reading scripture and praying together. Invite Jesus into all areas of your relationship."
  • Becca - "Bible study and being prayer warriors for each other!"
  • Kayla - "Bible study, praying for and with each other, challenging and encouraging each other in our individual faith walk, serving others together but also serving each other daily." 

WEEK 2: NAVIGATING THE C'S OF THE PARENT-CHILD JOURNEY

There is one relationship that has one of the greatest influences in our lives that is NON-OPTIONAL:  the parent-child relationship. As parents, we want to get this right, but also… it’s one of the hardest roles we will ever fulfill. As kids, we need and crave a great relationship with our parent or guardian. But in all the different phases of life… it gets complicated. This teaching is called “Navigating the C’s of the Parent-Child Relationship,” where we will look at the different ages and seasons of parenting and how each season demands a different mindset. But more importantly, we will look at God’s word, because He has given very specific commands and promises about this all so vital relationship.

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STAFF Q&A
Question: What are the names and ages of your children?
  • Bill - Molly (26) and Cameron (24)
  • Missy - Drew (29), Jantzen (26), Aidan (19) and Grayson (16)
  • Travis - Addie Mae (14), Piper Rae (11), Gwennie Kae (6)
  • Jack - Jude (20 months), Ezra (on his way!)
  • Becca - Bailee (13), Braelyn (6), Emmitt (2)
  • Kayla - Kennedy (7 months)
Question: What is one resource that has been helpful to you in your journey as a parent?
  • Bill - "My favorite has been Homeward Ministries founded by Jim Burns. I just recently read his book on parenting adult kids, and it’s phenomenal. The book is titled Doing life with your Adult Children."
  • Missy - "Our best resources has been the relationships we’ve built in the small groups we’ve been a part of over the years. Learning that we weren’t alone in the struggle and had people that would pray for us in our journey has been encouraging and empowering to keep trying to do it better."
  • Travis - "Honestly, my parents. Being able to vent and ask for prayers & wisdom."
  • Jack - "The Intentional Father by Jon Tyson. This book helped shape my perspective on parenting from now until adulthood and knowing the impact I can make."
  • Becca - "The Word of God! Anything that gives you the understanding of what is developmentally appropriate for your kid."
  • Kayla - "I deal with a lot of anxiety and a resource that has really helped me with it when it comes to parenting is Sissy Goff’s book The Worry-Free Parent." 
Question: What is an area of parenting you feel like you've done well or gotten right?
  • Bill - "Creating fun family experiences and traditions that allow us to laugh, love and bond together. We made it a top priority to just have fun together a regular rhythm."
  • Missy - "Allowing our kids to have an 'open to talk about anything' environment. No topics or questions have ever been off limits."
  • Travis - "Having a relationship with Jesus, emphasizing reading scripture daily, admitting when I make mistakes."
  • Jack - "Prioritizing my family, doing whatever it takes to love Jude well."
  • Becca - "Letting our children know that we are here for them even if they make a mistake."
  • Kayla - "Even though Kennedy is just a baby, we have already made Jesus a priority in parenting. Church every Sunday, devotionals and reading Bible stories nightly and praying with and for her." 
Question: What has been the hardest part of parenting for you so far?
  • Bill - "For us it was the early high school years. Those are difficult years for kids socially and at times they did not want our help or affection. We had to learn how to coach them well and still give them the affection they needed."
  • Missy - "The hardest part for me is remembering to put the relationship with my kids ahead of my opinions of what they should or shouldn’t do.  It is HARD to keep my mouth shut so that they see more Jesus than Missy. I have failed so. many. times."
  • Travis - "Allowing my kids to fail so that they learn and dealing with friends (other human’s drama.)"
  • Jack - "Remaining patient, the stress of doing it “right” and feelings of inadequacy as a father."
  • Becca - "Every child is different; it is challenging to figure out what they need and the right way to help them."
  • Kayla - "Sleep deprivation. Learning how to regulate my emotions so that I can help her learn how to regulate hers. (She isn’t giving me a hard time, she’s just having a hard time.)" 

WEEK 3: BY GETTING SOCIAL MEDIA RIGHT

Social media has become a huge player in the way we communicate and seek to connect with others and our world. So if we are seeking to get relationships right, we may need to take some time to get social media right in our lives. From what God says about outward appearances to the handling of anger, there is so much Biblical wisdom to guide us on how to make sure social media doesn’t replace or sabotage the real life relationships that God created us to experience.
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STAFF Q&A
Question: How is social media a blessing to your life? 
  • Bill - "I believe social media is a powerful tool for communication AND influence, and that influence, when done for the glory of God and the good of others, can be a blessing. It’s a blessing to be able to disseminate and receive crucial, helpful, inspiring, and mobilizing information at such a great speed and not just with words but with picture and video."
  • Missy - "Getting to connect with so many women through our Grove Women Live Facebook page is a HUGE blessing of the power of social media. I also consider it a blessing to be able to see pictures of families growing up and experiencing life together. It is a great tool to show support, join in praying for and encouraging others. I also love to follow several leaders/pastors and having access to their content is a help as I grow spiritually."
  • Travis - "The majority of my family members live in the South and I enjoy connecting with them. I have learned a lot through others on my health journey that has been extremely beneficial. There are some ministry leaders from all over the world that have given me a unique perspective on the Kingdom of God."
  • Jack - "Social media is a good tool for communication. Other than that I personally do not find much benefit in it."
  • Becca - "I love being able to see pictures of friends and family who I am not able to see in person. It is fun to watch families grow and change through the years."
  • Kayla - "Well for starters, it is my job at The Grove...it's so fulfilling and a blessing to be able to share Jesus, His light, and what He is doing in and through our church to others through social media. Personally, it has been a great tool to stay connected to family and friends I don't get to see daily. Also, since becoming a mom within the past year, it's been such a resource for information and to just not feel so alone in my struggles."
Question: Are there any healthy boundaries you’ve applied to social media to guard against excessive consumption or scrolling? 
  • Bill - "I honestly don’t have very much time to spend on social media. I post a lot but don’t scroll a lot. But I will say that when I do decide to on Facebook or Instagram, I will set a time limit. It’s easy to lose track of time, so being more intentional about how long I will allow myself to scroll has been very helpful. I also tend to not read comments on anything I post. Reading those can take a lot of time, and sometimes, if a comment is negative, you are tempted to become defensive and post a reply that only exacerbates the issue. I used to feel guilty for not reading all comments, but it truly has been freeing and healthy to put a huge limit on that."
  • Missy - "I don’t have Snapchat, X or TikTok.  I have turned off notifications for all social media apps except Facebook and I set timers to limit how long I 'scroll.' I also never engage, comment or share any kind of political post. Turns out politics can sometimes bring the worst out in us and I don’t want to contribute to that."
  • Travis - "My spouse reminds me often to put my phone away. I need those reminders as I can spend too much time scrolling. Even good content scrolling can utilize too many hours. Actually listening to feedback and not getting defensive has been a boundary I’ve needed. Feedback should be weighed NOT counted. I respect my spouses opinions more than anyone else."
  • Jack - "I do not have access to any social media on my phone (unless you count YouTube). This keeps me from spending too much time on social media. I also have an accountability software that shares my device activity with my wife, Grace."
  • Becca - "Yes. My husband and I both hold each other accountable for the amount of time we pour into a site."
  • Kayla - "I set time limits for TikTok and open Facebook and Instagram only for work purposes (which I try to maintain mostly during 'working hours'). I try to do a 'social media/screen time' Sabbath at least once a week, where I spend intentional time off the apps and my phone in general." 
Question: How is it a curse?​
  • Bill - "The curse is that it absolutely can be a negative influence. And also, I believe we are still discovering just how unhealthy being too immersed in social media can be. The comparison trap is real. It can create a false sense of community when really we are lacking real connection and relationship. And it can be a 'time suck' that keeps you distracted and awake."
  • Missy - "The curse is for sure the amount of time it can steal from the good things right in front of me."
  • Travis - "It can be a curse because there are things that once you see you cannot unsee. There are things you cannot unhear. Letting other’s opinions control your emotions is a dangerous game to play."
  • Jack - "I believe it can steal too much of my time and also put images and content in front of me that is not good for me."
  • Becca - "The curse is that sometimes it is filled with hate and judgement from people who use that platform as an outlet for their strong opinions."
  • Kayla - "It's so easy to fall into discontentment and comparison when scrolling. I always have to remind myself that social media is a 'highlight reel' of someone's life...people rarely show the negative or 'realness' of what their lives look like or what they are going through." 
Question: What social media platform can have the most negative effect on you?​
  • Bill - "I would have to say Twitter…. Now called 'X.' It has changed a lot over the last few years, and it is full of fake accounts and  'clickbait' to get you to read long threads. It used to be a great news source, but now there are just so many strange posts that make it onto my feed that it has really caused me lose trust. I just wanna read my local weatherman’s posts and my Wildcats, Bengals and Reds news. But to get to that stuff, you have to navigate through screens that try to get you to click on other stuff that is political or just strange."
  • Missy - "Oof… anything with 'reels' can have a negative effect on me. Even though the majority of what I watch is about books and cooking, it can easily become a black hole and take away minutes and hours from family and things that are waaayyyy more important."
  • Travis - "Each one of them have unhealthy content. I honestly feel the most anger from Facebook as people use it to vent regularly. Honestly, every platform gives a voice to people that I should not listen to. Learn to use the snooze for 30 day button. I cannot choose what people say, do, and think….but I can choose how to respond."
  • Jack - "Instagram and X are ones that I fully avoid. I find there to be more problematic content on those than Facebook."
  • Becca - "Facebook. I sometimes let the yuck get to me and it puts me in a bad mood."
  • Kayla - "Facebook tends to spark irritation in me and I find myself falling into the trap of judging others more frequently on that platform. TikTok is just a scrolling trap for me, and I have to be very intentional not to let it take up the time in my day that should be for way more important things and people." 

WEEK 4: BY SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Healthy boundaries. It’s a phrase that has been used for years to describe what people need to maintain in order to get relationships right. But ironically, Christians have especially struggled with this because of some misunderstandings of teachings in the Bible, even teachings from Jesus himself. However, we can actually love like Jesus and still have boundaries with others. In fact, when we look at the entire Bible, we see that maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial to living a life of love.
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STAFF Q&A
Question: How would you define personal boundaries?​
  • Bill - "I would define personal boundaries as a nice little fence around my life that exists to protect God’s best for me."
  • Missy - "I would define personal boundaries as guardrails I have to put in place to protect my heart, mind and peace."
  • Travis - "Boundaries- 'Guardrails are personal standards of behavior that protect people from harm.' - Andy Stanley
    'Guardrails keep me from running off the road and ending up dead in a ditch.'  - Travis Risher"
  • Jack - "Personal boundaries are accountability based rules put into place to protect yourself, your family, and your witness for Christ."
  • Becca - "Personal boundaries are the limits and rules we establish for ourselves within relationships. They define what we are comfortable with and what we are not, helping to protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being."
  • Kayla - "Personal boundaries are lines put in place to hold me and others accountable in order to protect our hearts and minds. "
Question: What is a personal, professional or relational boundary you’ve had to set?​
  • Bill - "One personal and professional boundary that I uphold that may surprise some people is keeping my phone put away when I’m spending time with someone. I truly want to be fully present when I’m with someone, and that is especially important when I’m with my wife or with my kids. In ministry, there’s always a text, phone call or email to respond to. So it can be challenging to keep up with all correspondence while also maintaining this boundary, but I’ve learned that if I do not do that, I will not be effective at anything. I’ll be less effective as a husband, dad, and even a minister because ultimately, distraction and work without boundaries will cause fatigue, resentment and burnout. I’ve also learned that ONLY YOU can protect your boundaries. No one…even people who absolutely love you…will always protect your boundaries. You have to be the one to advocate for that, and when you do, healthy people will always respect it."
  • Missy - "A personal boundary that I have had to set recently is to hide people from my feed on Facebook. Posts and comments that are intentionally or unintentionally meant to hurt, seem passive aggressive or are politically divisive are not things I want to stew about or give the enemy a foothold in my heart over."
  • Travis - "Personal- we’ve been charging our phones across the room so we don’t doom scroll for hours while in bed. 
    Professional- no closed door meetings with female co-workers. More accountability is key."
  • Jack - "Personal - Family comes first. I consistently set small boundaries to protect family time. I also listen to Grace when she has concerns about different areas of my life. If she thinks a boundary needs to be set, I am going to respect that to make her feel safe. 
    Professional - I do not ride alone in vehicles, meet one on one in closed spaces, or have significant digital relationships with any women that are not my wife."
  • Becca - "A personal boundary I have set is keeping Christ at the center of everything. Making sure my husband and kids know they are my first priority.  A professional boundary I have set for myself is to keep conversations focused on the work we are doing for the kingdom and to respect myself, the people I work with and their families."
  • Kayla - "A personal boundary I have set is being intentional with family time and making them the priority. Another personal and professional boundary is limited screen time/being on social media. It is so easy to get wrapped up in scrolling and posting with it being my job and can easily take away from more important things." 

WEEK 5: MAKING JESUS YOUR PERON

A huge key to getting all your horizontal relationships right is to get your vertical relationship right. When Jesus is “your person,” it changes everything. It allows you to not try to get out of others what you should only be getting from Jesus in your life. Healthy human relationships are made possible when you are all in with the One who died to be YOUR PERSON! Perhaps this is the missing piece that will totally transform the way you relate to others… the way you live your life. Is Jesus your person?
Click the buttons below to dive deeper into this week's sermon. ​
STAFF Q&A
Question: Describe when you made Jesus your person. What is your salvation story?​
  • Bill - "Jesus became my person on June 17, 1988 on the final night of Bible camp when I was 15 years old. I had gone to this camp every summer since 4th grade. I had heard the gospel so many times through the camp. As a little kid, my parents sometimes sent me to this little church we could walk to. Seeds of who Jesus was were planted in my heart there. But it was at camp that my eyes were finally opened to how Jesus did what he did on the cross personally for me. I knew I was a sinner who desperately needed his forgiveness and his presence in my life. I immediately felt a weight lifted but also an excitement to finally have purpose and meaning in life. All I had to do was follow Him and do what He says. I’ve had to work hard to keep that simple mindset at the forefront. It’s so easy to complicate it or get deterred from it. But that is truly the Way, the Truth, and the Life. It’s a person. And it’s my person: Jesus!"
  • Missy - "I said yes to Jesus at camp when I was seven, sort of. I was raised Nazarene and exposed to many hell fire and damnation sermons. When I felt the first tug on my heart it was honestly out of fear. I didn't know what it meant to follow Jesus but I absolutely didn’t want to go to hell so I came forward in a camp service and began my life with Christ. At fifteen I felt the Holy Spirit pursuing me to really become a disciple of Jesus and go further than just believing in God and having fire insurance. That’s when I fully surrendered my life to Christ."
  • Travis - "I was baptized at eight years old because I knew I needed a Savior. I understood that Jesus died for me, and paid my punishment on the cross. It wasn’t until I was well into my 20s before He actually became Lord of my life. One moment in college, I knew I had gotten so far away from Jesus I simply cried out to him for help. Even after that moment, it was a slow transition to listening to Him more and growing into my faith."
  • Jack - "I became a Christian my freshman year of high school but I don’t think Jesus became my person fully until my senior year of high school. Through the years in between, I learned so much and grew in my faith significantly. I was saved here at Hickory Grove in October of 2015. I had been thinking about what it meant to submit my life to Jesus for a while and after a conversation with Pastor Bill, I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins and to save me."
  • Becca - "I went through my early years believing  having faith was something you did, a checklist. Then in my adulthood I learned what a relationship with Jesus was and that truly changed my life."
  • Kayla - "I said yes to Jesus when I was a child, but didn't begin a relationship with him until college. It wasn't until my senior year that I started intentionally seeing Jesus as my person and pursuing Him after so many years of HIM pursuing me."
Question: Share briefly your call into ministry.​
  • Bill - "I thought for sure I was going to go to college and become a physical therapist. But during my senior year of high school, my Sunday School teacher how was also my public high school guidance counselor pulled me aside and prayed for me and told me I should consider and pray about becoming a pastor. So I prayed about it and talked to a friend who was already pursuing a calling. It was something I wrestled with even after I declared Biblical studies as my major. But during my first year of college, I got alone with God for a period of 2 days and just prayed and listened. And he gave me a peace about going ALL IN on a calling into ministry. I got off the fence and quit wavering at that point. The Lord planted a passion in me to do youth ministry and in the middle of my junior year of college, I was blessed with the opportunity to come on staff as youth minister at First Baptist Church, Jellico, TN. That’s where it all began. I’m so thankful that the Lord has continually guided my steps to get to be where I am now and be a part of such an awesome church family and mission for Him!​"
  • Missy - "Steve grew up here at Hickory Grove and all though we were married here, I fought against it being our home church for many years. I remember sitting in service as a young mom of two and the Lord impressing a call to Him, this church and its children and families so strongly that I still believe He gave me a vision that day that wouldn’t make sense for a couple years. After two years of praying for direction a preschool teacher position opened up in our daycare preschool and I applied. The rest is His story being lived out in my life."
  • Travis - "11 years ago, I was unexpectedly given a pink slip from teaching at Newport Middle School. During that summer, I did a Bible study on Gideon in the book of Judges. It was through that in depth study when I realized that it was never about me and God could use the weakest of people to do the strongest things. I felt a pull into ministry that I couldn’t shake. I didn’t know what that meant, but I knew that my yes was on the table. The next spring I was given an opportunity to be the Part-Time Interim Upward Sports Director at Hickory Grove. Additionally, I taught middle school for another year. The following year, I was asked to be a full-time staff member and have been here since 2015. The Lord still continues to blow my mind with the amount of blessings and revelations He has given me."
  • Jack - "My senior year of high school I started to think that youth ministry was my dream job. It was my favorite part of every week and I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do in college. I had a long list of options like being a nurse, going into law enforcement, being a teacher, etc. but God used different experiences to show me those options weren’t the right fit for me. One night after grove youth I had a meaningful conversation with Bill and a friend of mine named Corbin and really started to feel like ministry was for me. I later talked to my parents and enrolled for ministry classes at Cincinnati Christian University. Turns out, youth ministry is the dream job after all!!"
  • Becca - "I never would have thought I would be teaching kiddos about Jesus. I always loved watching kiddos learn new things, but after the first time I watched a light bulb moment for a kiddo saying yes to Jesus I knew I wanted to see that as many times as possible. It is a privilege to help lay a foundation of faith for the wonderful kids I get to spend time with."
  • Kayla - "When I graduated college, I felt so lost on what I wanted to do as a career or where God was calling me, although ministry did not cross my mind once. 6 months after graduating, I found myself as a preschool teacher's aid and the Grove Kids Intern at The Grove. I could've never imagined the steps God would take in my life over the next five years to bring me to where I am today." 

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